Announcing my new programming language

I’ve been working on a new “Programming Language”. It’s called Whitespace. Before explaining to you the philosophy behind it, I’d like to show you some sample code so you get an idea of what it’s like to use it.

I do warn you. It’s literally going to look like nothing. But bear with me. You’ll realize the reasoning behind it is brilliant.

Let’s see if you can figure it out before reading the explanation that follows…. Go check out the code and come back.

OK…Get it?

Let me explain. First, this language is inspired by Python. Everyone loves Python. It’s so easy. All the cool kids are using it. “The Whitespace” is the most popular feature and I figured why not make a whole language out of it!

Now as a programmer, your goal is to remain gainfully employed by becoming instrumental to your employer. This can only happen if your code is brilliant. Which is determined by how few other programmers can understand it. If you’re the only one to “get” the complexity, then you are the smartest programmer. This is obvious.

Now, with my help, you can take it one step further. Not only won’t anyone understand your code, they literally WON’T be able to even READ IT! Win win!

Imagine the look on your boss’ face when you run the program you showed him a moment ago as being blank and it’s filled with functionality!

Here’s how the syntax works. You see, every bit is 0 or 1. A carriage return without a whitespace is 0. A space plus carriage return is 1. 8 lines per byte. No wasted lines. No comments. In fact, the code is self-documenting.

That, in a nutshell, is Whitespace.

I’m not quite done yet, but do not worry, I will open source it here. Enjoy.


8 responses to “Announcing my new programming language

  1. Did you know there already is a programming language called Whitespace, which actually does something? 😀

  2. I can’t believe I wasn’t first… How upsetting ;(

    7 years ago and I’da been slashdotted!

  3. I believe it was “invented” in December 2002 in a “joke” thread on This is the first mention I’ve seen anywhere anyway: and a few months later the language was released. Could be coincidence though.

  4. Well seriously, back in the day we had the APL (The “A” programming palnguage) where every symbol was significant (using characters instead of the words for commands). So the popular entertainment among the programmers was to enter your own name as a “program” and try to predict what exactly it is going to do . Than change the capitalization and repeat 🙂

    But you can use the Whitespace for some serious applications, like steganography for instance.

    You would have some issues with modern editors though, since most of them are messing out with white spaces, CR, LF characters etc in most unpredictable ways…


  5. Here’s a quick parser I wrote in PHP to parse whitespace code from pastebin:

    $lines = preg_split( '/\r\n|\r|\n/', $contents);

    $dataBuffer = '';
    foreach($lines as $line)
    if(preg_match('/( )/', $line))
    $dataBuffer .= '1';
    $dataBuffer .= '0';

    $bytes = str_split($dataBuffer, 8);
    foreach($bytes as $byte)
    echo chr(bindec($byte));


  6. To moderator:

    Don’t know what happende to the first part of the code but it cut off at the last line of this:

    $lines = preg_split( ‘/\r\n|\r|\n/’, $contents);

  7. Moderator:

    It still cuts this off:

    $file = simplexml_load_file(‘’);
    $contents = $file->body->pre;
    $lines = preg_split( ‘/\r\n|\r|\n/’, $contents);

  8. @Emil, sorry about that. This is hosted on and I don’t have much control. That’s why I use pastebin.

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